Take the hits and keep moving forward.

[Papa4Life]

Hi again T. WOW, her response is a complete validation of what MWD has said about what the entire point is of the LRT! Which is, of course, to make it clear to the WAS that you are strong enough to move on with your own life with or without them. IMO, using the LRT is a validation of the WAS's feelings of confusion and uncertainty, and it shows them that you didn't just didn't feel that you knew all along that their feelings were "wrong" and that they were bad people for having those doubts! Wow, I'm kina just realizing this myself as I write this.

Look, I can tell you are very hurt about this admission, and I can understand that you would feel that way, especially knowing that you made the decision not to see other people during your separation. But that was YOUR decision. And as everybody keeps reminding me, you can't control another person's actions. And you have to remember, you were the one who asked her about this, so it's not as if she told you just to stick it to you. She's concerned about your feelings, that's got to tell you something.

I guess what I'm driving at here in a very roundabout way is that you should in no way make your W feel guilty about what she did. I daresay that your actions in the hours and days ahead could make or break your future R with your W. If I were in your sitch (and I sort of am), I would just back off. Let it lie. Don't bring it up, but if she wants to talk about it, listen and validate. Let HER think about how she wants to address it. That puts you in a more powerful position.

Jealousy is usually the fear that your S's actions somehow make you less of a man in the eues of other guys. Well, I'm technically a guy, and I look at it as your W having serious doubts, exploring her options, and realizing that what she wants is you. How she arrived at that realization is incidental. It's not the path, it's the destination that counts. And while I'm sure your W is glad that she took the opportunity to explore her options and figure out what's best for her, she'll probably regret this one aspect of it and probably see it for what it is: another avenue she explored when reconsidering her life, but otherwise meaningless.

Keep your chin up, T, you'll get through this.