Wife is having an emotional affair

[Alan A.]

Today I decided to look up some D laws for my state, in case it does go that route. I didn't realize it costs around $600 to file. I told W how much it costs and she said one of her friends suggested an annulment. I told her that annulments have very specific requirements and there is no way we would qualify. She didn't believe me so I had to look it up and show her that we wouldn't qualify for one (turns out they cost just about as much anyway). Whenever W says anything about us getting separated or D it doesn't seem like it bothers her at all, it seems like she thinks it's inevitable and there is absolutely no changing it. I admit I feel like that a lot of the time too, but I think part of me still hopes things will work out.

Tonight she was whining and told me she was mad at herself because she has so much school work to do and she could have/should have done it sooner. My though was "Maybe if you weren't off spending all of your time with OM you would be doing well in school. It's your own fault stop complaining about it." Of course I didn't say that to her. She just updated her FB status to something like "life is just too much right now." It's annoying to me that she put herself into this situation and is now whining to the world about it. Earlier I saw her working on a research paper for a class. She chose a very poor topic and when she first told me about it I tried to tell her that she wouldn't be able to find the sources she needed to make it a research paper but she didn't listen. Anyway in her paper she wrote something like "due to a lot of stress in my life from the legal proceedings of my divorce and lack of available sources I'm unable to complete this paper. If you will let me switch my topic and turn it in a little late I would be willing to try again." There are absolutely no legal proceedings going on right now. I know she has not filed because I would notice $600 going missing. It makes me mad that she's using me as a scapegoat for the problem she created and is trying to get special treatment because she is going though a "difficult time." She shows absolutely no sign that this is hard for her. She needs to just suck it up and deal with the problems she created and stop trying to get sympathy/special treatment. She has told most of her friends that we are getting D. I haven't told anyone anything. I don't think she has told any of her family. I don't want to tell any of my family until I'm absolutely certain that D is going to happen, and I don't feel close enough to any of my friends to talk about it. So I'm just stuck with myself and you guys on here. posting on here does help a lot but sometimes I wish there was someone here to give me a hug. I don't know if I have fully realized yet just how hard it is on me. I've seen other people say it on the forums and now I'm saying it, I really thought I was past the crying but I really feel it trying to come on strong right now. I just keep trying not to think about what's going on but I know I'm going to have to confront these feelings soon, and I know it's going to be very hard.

Sorry for the long post, I just needed to get some of that out. I just want to thank everyone again for your support I really do appreciate it.