SO, I haven't posted to you before. I have followed you from time to time while you've been here.
I am trying to figure out what your fear is.
I want to stay away from discussing scripture, although I do wonder if God may have provided you with many opportunities over the past 8 years and you have not acted on them.
If you knew, in 2004, that your W would file and your M would end in D in 2013, would you have waited?
If your answer is "Yes", why? Why would you have waited? What have you learned? How have you grown? What lesson or value has your S received?
What really... is your fear (shame?) that your M will end?