Take the hits and keep moving forward.

[T1000]

I really appreciate the support.

Yes I am glad she didn't lie and I appreciate that she didn't.

I've always had a hard time with the fact that there was people before I even met her.

On our honeymoon just through a simple conversation about one of her vacations a boyfriend was mentioned that I never knew about. When I realised they will have had sex it destroyed me. I know it's not a rational reaction but that is where my thoughts go and I have always struggled with that.
If I struggled with that and feel horrible inside whenever I think of her with anyone else before we even met how am I supposed to get past this?

Now there has been someone else after we got married and after she has had our kids and I don't see me getting past that.

Everything I read that is supposed to help me understand or move past it doesn't even register at all.

I was reading about breathing this morning, sexual arousal was mentioned and it set me off again.

I got her some really nice gifts for her birthday at the beginning of the month, I feel like such an idiot. Even looking forward her birthday is going to remind me.
We were together on Valentine and she must have started with OM right after. How am I supposed to see Valentines day the same way with her now?
She would have been with him on Mother Days too, ooh another significant date to stamp in my brain.

It makes me so angry that she used to pour it on thick about how tired she was and how she needed the rest and could I have the kids for public holidays. Feel so used.

It probably didn't have anything to do with me. She was probably just wrapped up in her own emotions.
Doesn't make any difference it's there now and will always be there.