i sure "hear " ya. me too. i come and i rant and say stuff on my mind and wonder if everyone in the universe out there thinks i'm off my rocker most of the time. i just don't care any more too much. everyone can have their opinin of me. they just don't know - do they??? unless you're plop in the middle of this mlc crappola - who can really know what we're feeling, how long long long it feels, how every single day we all probably want tojust chuck it- reconsider - think , "okay, one more stinking day" - etc. it goes on and on doesn't it.
i have to admit- i'm not any happier about it- and maybe a bit more accepting - -I hate admitting even to myself that i feel on a more even keel when h is around. he's got ow firmly planted (i believe) in his life out there. when he's in fl- i'm doing better- but pretty much still hate it like mad and feel like a mad bull inside.
i'm doing lots bettter on outside & in general (two years of knowledge) a million years of blind trust & stupidity- oh well huh?
thanks for saying you're out there. i always wonder who exactly is out there. dawn i know- she's my bud, and stays by me. everyone else- hit & run. i'm guilty of same- kind of allover the place.
anyway- it's awful isn't it? i'm sure glad to have the support & this place to go. i'd probably have given up waaay before now. it's an interesting idea - dbing. it's sure hard and long and hopefully not fruitless. who can ever know tho?
times like this i wish i were more intensly religious. i've got some religion- it's more kindly & nice to have. rather than total immersion and ability to let it go and think it will be taken care of by a kndly God. i'd like to- i guess i'm just a responsible kinda gal and think i've got to look over my own affairs best i can. it aint pretty
oh well- trying to put some junk (uh hem - wonderful anttiques)on ebay- just trying to find new homes for some grat stuff have accumulated over the years. isn't it sad that the only thing probably thatkept me from walking out first minute i found out all thi smlc crappola was the thought of moveing and seling and packing alllllll that stuff in fla house- and the notion that i could not deal with that on top of my world being destroyed in one minute.
oh well- here i am- good luck and say hi now and then- i'm not too private any more- my shame and discretion have been tossed to the wind. it's still got to be better than putting my bsiness allover facebook - wouldn't ya think?
anyway= it's all out there with me- how the heck can anyone understand or help if they don't know- it does help me-
