Time for the Loop the Loop on this rollercoaster!

[SM34]

Im just not sure that's the right move righr now. I mean I see her looking back now.. I see her talking about future stuff unlike before.

I hear from friends OM is not a permanent thought anymore.

She asks me about things with my business. And I know she doesnt think I am a built for business ownership.

since our separation I have started a third business and I notice her feeling out if I am changing in that respect or not. She has told me befors she thought I could be a big shot working for a large company etc.. Also she thought I needed a businrss location in this better part of town so after she left me, I did exactly what she had always said was the best business move. Now she is looking to see if I can make it profitable.

So I see her second guessing her decision, but unfortunately there is not much change in the income department. It takes many months to launch a new business and get it to where it is profitable.

It actually has to get worse.before it can get better. I am doing this for my future and that of my daughter, not for my wife. But I also understand that wife felt I have been going around in circles for a few years and now she sees me being proactive.

the OM thing is not going to last. I see guys hitting on her on Facebook and her friends tell me about how so and so is trying to talk to her. But she is here 5 or 6 nights a week, making me dinner, cleaning, inviting me to spend time together, even helping me spread the word of my new business,lication (using fb, angies list, etc..) Which is something she stopped a long time ago because she didnt care anymore.

So it almost seems like she is dragging out this OM thing as companionship and to crank the heat up on me to get myself together and be the success I was supposed to be. She could easily jump ship now to a bettee OM than she has. But she hasnt. She continues to be wife in every aspect.except bedroom, and keeps testing to see when she should start feeling her decision is wrong.

I know its complete BS that a wife would drop her husband because of bad times. But a woman needs a provider and I havent done.such a good job of that in recent years.

So listening to her on business matters, and bettering the busness so we can atleast get our life back is priority. Not just for her, or even without her. My finances are in such a mess that I need to fix it for myself and,my daughter. I just happen to know the respect for me will go up big time if I can turn it around!

She said I used to be alpha, because I was. I got what I wanted in business, and loss was just a hiccup and a learning experience for me. At some point I becamse a passive beta and started blaming my failing business on external stuff instead of finding a way to fix it.

Same with sex. I used to be alpha. I would TELL her to get undressed and put on something sexy and meet me in the bedroom. The same time my business wasnt performing I began to doubt myself. I became too beta and expressed confusion, fear, and lack of a plan of how to get our family back on track.

I,need to be a husband only a fool would leave, and quickly. I think she is looking but not seeing much change in what really,matters to her.

The 180s are nice, but not what she needs to see in order for respect to come back.

I read an article about visible.change and how its important for WAS.to see you working at the things that bother them. Better communication etc is not going to help me because we never had issues with that. She enjoys my company.

She needs me to show no fear, to be prosctive at fixes.our finances, to implememt some of her suggestions in business, to look like I can lead.and that she has nothing to worry about for the future.

Im going to ty to talk to my coach this week and see what she thinks. She had told me 6 months or more is what it would take before she starts to re examine her decision. We are not there yet.