Must say you worry me a bit, I'd turn up your detachment dial for you if I could.
But I guess its still early on for you this time around, so things are still fresh and raw.
You are looking for your wife to "open up"... if she's in MLC, that is
A. Not likely to happen B. Not likely to help because I. It will only reveal what she feels atm II. Be based largely on her personal rewrite of history C. Very likely to hurt YOU like hell
Be very careful of what you ask for Charlie - this is just from my experience.
It seems that your good day vs. bad day depends on how you perceive your W's connection to the OM. I can't tell you how much I really truly understand this. IDK if you've read my history but H's infidelity is EXTREMELY painful to me. I tell you this so you'll know that I'm speaking from the heart, one nearly-LBS to another. You HAVE to let the OM obsession go.
I get the "need to know". Its understandable, but not healthy and not productive.You know "enough" as is. You know your wife has a R that is outside of the bounds of your marriage. To what extent, to what degree, is really immaterial.
Life will be so much more bearable if you can detach - especially in this area.
And, last of the lecture lol, get a prescription for patience. If this is MLC then your journey is just beginning.
Take care
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
