post-D with WAW

[azguy]

I think I've had expectations, since she moved out a year ago, but I've realized they're fantasies, so it's not really those, that have me down. (By the way, my favorite fantasy is that she just calls me one day and asks to talk, and I know she has changed her mind. Wouldn't that be amazing? And I know won't happen. Still can't get rid of it)

I''m just out of ideas how to leave the door open. I feel powerless (nothing I do or say has had any noticable effect on her attitude for a good year now) and delusional (what am I thinking that we could actually reconcile at this point). It's an emotion tonight. Time will tell whether it's longer lasting.

Good point about work. When I talk about work, it's not like when we used to have a R. More like discussion with a colleague. When she comforted me last month, it was actually after hearing about my stress from someone else. If I mention stress now, I always am sure to show her that I am dealing with it differently than when we were together (not letting it get ot me, not such a big deal, etc.) But you're right that I should be careful about this topic. I forget so soon, what caused some of the rifts between us.

Maybe I'm overdue for a call with my DB coach.