hey azguy, my text about inviting conv about girls? Before, I shared and shared and thought it was my responsibility to keep him informed about his kids and I resented he never came to the table or showed interest. He had it pretty easy, hardly even had to really ask how was your day. I laughed, I cried, it was my world managing our kids with what I thought was his support. And he did support, but didn't engage. So me offering to share but requiring him to meet me in the middle was a personal best. And he didn't call to see what his kids did or probably even remember. Oh well, it doesn't stop me from being proud and my parenting won't be distracted in anger towards H. I'm letting it go now.
Or were you referring to my 5 LL email to him? That, too, we didn't talk about our R at all before. So challenging him to address actual R issues even if not to be in R with me, but to learn about himself is a change too.
I saw him briefly when getting a tour of station today. We were there for less than 10 minutes and he had a call and had to go. Actually it was a relief. Short and sweet. He texted afterwards 'thanks for coming by. i really enjoyed seeing you.' It was group message with kids too, so I'm not thinking that was meant for me. But he was gracious and a good host and I was glad for the tour.
azguy, I wanted to ask you specifically - you've described your overworking as contributing to your situation and that's a common theme with my H as well. He works and works and gets all his rewarding feelings from his job. I've wondered before if he even notices how unbalanced his life is. I'm beginning to think that nothing will ever change in his perception and it will forever prevent him from recommitting to our R. What finally happened that made you see you lost focus on your family?
