A New Me 2

[jp787]

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2342097&page=1

I gave her an ultimatum in saying what I said and she stated that.
She said:
His friendship or my need for it right now feels like a security blanket. Like the only thing keeping me safe from everything else. I know that sounds like an emotional attachment as I guess it is but not for the same reasons u think that they are. I am so freaking afraid to let go because I am terrified of everything around me. The little tiny tip of that security blanket is all I feel I have. Everything else hurts, but you need to do what is best for you.
Then later:
I do wish u could see that OM friendship as anything more than an object, a tool, a support to me. Only a small part of the four legged table. I am missing three legs already, if I "give up" his friendship it would b giving up that only for you and my table would fall. I dont have anything else to stand with yet as that is what I am trying to rebuild, redo, retrust, remove fears, etc. I dont expect u 2 totally understand as you you gave up your object.
If all of this just an affair that I had and not so much other crap I think I could truly say... JP your right and I need to let go of the need for that friendship to keep my marriage. But the situation to me, is so much more than that, Maybe I am being stupid or bull headed or ignorant about it.

She said I guess we are at a stand off.

I said I really don't know. I said I wish you would take to your therapist about what all you told me and where I stand and see what she says. That I wished she would Google what an EA was and what is said about remaining friends.

She thanks for the info and advice, I guess I have a decision to make.
I said eventually yes.
She said sounds and feels like sooner than later.
I said a decision to make when you are ready to decide.
She said I will hurry Jp.
Me: ?
Me: nvm forget it I am losing you, I am forcing you to make a choice.

W: ur fighting for what you want, trying to 2 make me see my wrongs.
M: and then you will resent me for it.

That is it.

I feel like a lost cause.

I know some if not all of you are getting tired of my crap.

Thanks for listening.

Then: