Almost two years and still stuck in limbo

[newman7977]

Ok Sandi, check out my WAW lately. And no I'm not showing this at home. I'm just sharing thoughts here. There was errands to do so I ended up asking w because D18 couldn't go with me. Anyway, I asked W and she gave me this piercing look again and almost like dang hissing at me lol. I just walked away and didnt show any reactions and ask so are you going or not? So she went with me.

On the way back, we had to walk and she didnt even waited for me because I had to talk to the service person. Anyway I thought dang how rude, of course I was pissed. So I walked home and compose myself. Walked in the house, she was cleaning and I went straight to s3 and interacted with him. I could see her on the side of my view and she is staring at me and looked away when I'm about to sit down because then I'd see her staring . She's almost like she's egging me to engage in an argument. But I didn't and went on my business like nothing happened.

She was cleaning and I had some stuff on the table. She shoved all my things in one corner like whatever. I took them and put them away. I think I finally getting detaching?! Anyway it's only been a week so maybe I will slid back again. I also have not ask for sex yes I'm embarrass but I haven't touch her in a 1.5 months.

Hard to explain but I'm kind of glad her anger is back...I know I'm sick right? But last year she was emotionless. We didnt fight at all which felt fake.

I remain detach, I don't look at her and only talk to her if she ask a question. I communicate then pull back, it's pretty direct really. It feels like she is testing me if I'm really strong not to pursue her. I actually notice these little tests last week but now it's become a pattern...her mood swings one moment she's hissing at me the other she's talking business like.

i wont fall for it though, i feel better at where I'm at right now and quite frankly I'm not fearing the big D. But I'm not dismissing any hope either.

Sandi, if I'm not mistaken--my main goal is to gain her respect.

Anyway these are just my observations lately.

Newman