KD, acceptance is the end of the grief cycle. I seem to between that and sadness. Part of acceptance is allowing the other person to travel their own path without guidance or interference. I have done that for over a year. I also accept that my life is my responsibility. What I don't like, I can change. I continue to work on that. I have also had to accept the illness that is a part of MLC and that I am not responsible for that.
You've been at this long enough to know that forgiveness is part of healing and happens later, once the dust has settled. While I am no longer angry I am not quite to forgiveness. That's not reasonable given that my STBX continues to impact my life through selfish actions. My attorney continues to be amazed by his devious and heartless maneuvers. I know full forgiveness will come with ease once this is over. Saying that I forgive him now is premature and a lie I won't tell myself to feel better.
In the meantime, I will stay true to myself and keep a commitment that I made to always be peaceful and loving or remain silent. That's giving my very best right now and I accept that it is enough.
