Weird scenario

[Jeack]

.

[Jeack]

I did hang out with a mutual friend last night. He stasis she didn't seem to happy when he talked to her. I just responded that I feel bad for her and miss her but let's talk about something else.

[Jeack]

Just texted her miss you, hope your having a good weekend.

Why do I do this??

[cbtdad]

J, you know better than that!!!
Don't expect a reply for sure.
I know how hard it is. But keep the end result in mind

[Jeack]

I know C,
just be crazy

[Jeack]

Welp I screwed up again. Was texting wife cause I was lonely by myself. saying I wish you were here blah blah. Then she finally responds leave me alone please. and I went off. telling her She wasted 6 yrs years of my life and that her OM must be getting mad that I'm texting and shes exactly like her mom. I'm a real idiot.

Just the pain of this process is unbearable at times.

[cbtdad]

Jeack,
You let your anger get the best of you. You can't take it back but you can learn from it and move forward. You've got to make this about you. I know it's the hardest thing to be so hurt by the person who you never thought could hurt you like this. You will get through this whether its back with her or someone else. But you need to use today and what happened as the starting point.
It's so tough when the one person you leaned on the most when you were down is the absolute last person you can lean on right now.
I know!
But let that sink in what she said about "leave me alone"
You have to do this for you

[Jeack]

I gotta move on. Just found out her family is issed at her. she's leaving for days on end with OM not taking any responsibility. she's a whore.

[adinva]

When you said you were emotionally abusive, you were very quick to point the finger back at her and say she was too. I think if this experience is a wake up call to you, you might turn all your attention off your W and begin to figure out what emotional abuse is, and why you did it, and how you can learn to never ever do that to another human being again, no matter what excuses you think justify it. And not to accept it when you hear it from someone else. And why you are so angry that you are out of control of your own behavior. Learn to feel and own your emotions, all of them, and stop using them as excuses to do bad things.

That should be enough to keep you very busy, without a moment to text your W or call her a whore.

[Jeack]

I couldn't agree with you more. I think I was emotionally abusive cause I felt like I was the only trying in the relationship and I always had to walk on eggshells cause I know if I told her things that were bothering me she would leave and run

So yes I do need to work on these things. I need to let her go and if she wants to make bad decisions in her life. That's her prerogative.

But it's also painful for someone you still care about to sit watch them turn into a train wreck over a loser guy. Even her family is getting annoyed.

I feel like she was living a double life and never stayed out of contact with OM for our entire relationship. And Anger is a natural reaction during the grieving process, maybe I'm wrong.