Your dreams could be great fodder for some drama on the big screen. Boy, do you have an active imagination!
Seriously, I agree with your sense of feeling that R talk needed to be put on hold. But I'm thinking that unless you do it soon, you're going to be plagued by all these unsavory characters swarming your subconscious.
And I know that you need your sleep as much as I do!
I'm thinking about you. I know you know the timing best, so I won't hound you.
Hugs,
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Opt - Sounds like things are going fairly smoothly - although that R talk itch sounds like its driving you crazy. I am still so happy for you and snuggliness is ALWAYS a positive thing. Did he used to be okay with big R talks?
(((Opt)))) Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
have a very grand day opt, have fun with that little one of yours. i know you have a very busy day ahead, and i am sorry that the 'talk' hasn't happened yet
but remember, today he is home, one week ago you didn't know where he was...
Quote: At 4 am I woke up in the middle of a nightmare. In my dream, H and I were staying at a hotel somewhere and he tells me that he is going to have dinner with a male colleague. I smell something fishy and ask him to take me with him to the dinner so I can meet this person as his wife. He mutters and says "OK, dinner at eight. I'm going for a walk" At seven, I'm all dressed up and ready to go when H tells me (again muttering: he does that when he lies) that he already went to dinner with that guy. I get mad and storm out. My marriage is over for 2 reasons: he did not include me, he lied to me again. At this point I wake up in a sweat and H is hugging me.
Opt, this dream appears to reflect nearly perfectly the fears created by the info your H shared right before you went to sleep...and was fueled by your feelings of late.
He shared that his "new employee" (a non threat) had not shown up...leaving you to wonder if OW or her daughter were still there (a perceived threat).
So in your dream this "male co-worker" may represent this unknown new non threatening worker...he is "male" in the dream to reinforce this "non threat".
But YOU are uncertain, untrusting (just as in real life) and want to SEE for yourself...is this really a nonthreat or is H covering up? (in real life the fear is he's covering for still having OW around?).
Then he BLOCKS you by sneaking around and "having dinner already"....
It's a nasty portrait of YOUR fears and concerns, Opt. (NOT in any way helped by your H's continued lack of being an "open book" when it comes to work and OW). And as in real life, the dream holds no "resolution"....
Opt's Second Dream:
Quote: This time my H was having a heart attack and I was in a panic and could not even find the aspirin, let alone the phone to call 911. Very NOT ME, btw. While I am rushing all over the place, a Russian man and woman show up to visit (I do not know them from Adam, at all this) and help me to get H to the ER. While we are waiting, the girl (really nice) explains to me that H has been courting her and she had no idea he was married but that things had not gotten anywhere and she was not even interested... She drives me back home and we are really good friends... Then I woke up but this time H was not hugging me.
Hmmm...H is having a "HEART" attack, huh? Unless your H has real life coronary problems, Opt, I think there's symbology to the "heart" being the organ that's "attacking" here!
So you panic, can't find aspirin...NOT like the waking you, you say. (For an anxious person, I'm damned good in real life emergencies myself!).
But, Opt, in the real life parallel to this "heart attack emergency" you DO feel this way at times don't you?? Like you don't know what to do (....to save your H's heart??).
The Russian couple...interesting. Foreign people...link to OW? (is she not of a different ethnicity?)...they may also represent the unknown, or unfamiliar, the new worker?
I like when dreams play with WORDS...Russian...."rushing"...sort of sound alike don't they??? Any sense of "rushin' things?"
They help you and H get to the "Emergency Room" (I think this is reflecting the sense of urgency you feel about things)...
Now THIS is interesting...this "new OW" turns out to NOT BE A THREAT at all!!! She is a friend, she's not interested in your H.
Opt, I believe that your inner wisdom, your spirit, your unconscious is trying to reassure you here. The message that OW (new/old/whatever!) is NOT a threat to you, is pretty clear.
Interesting that the two of you commisserate while your H is still in the hospital having his "heart fixed"?
Dreams follow our progress with issues, Opt. I see definite progress in just these two dreams on this theme.
Remember ...dreams can only be rightfully interpreted by the DREAMER...so take what I've written and look for the "aha! moments...the things that "click"...and any connections that might arise for you.
Thanks for the interpretation, Shiny. I totally agree with that of dream #1 btw. As for dream #2, it is probably right except for some minor glitches:
My H does not have diagnosed coronary problems, but he is a time bomb: his father died of an MI in his late 50s, he is an untreated diabetic (refuses to consider meds, but does not follow the diet and exercise plan), he is overweight, male and in his 40s... enough risk factors to worry about. At least he does not smoke.
The Russian connection I am not sure about. We have some good Russian friends but we have not seen them in ages. And D's skating coach is Russian. Since she is secretly in love with his 17 year old eldest son, I might end up with a Russian son-in-law (who can blame her: the kid is really cute, skates very well and is very patient with the little ones. And how many teenagers you know that don't drink, don't smoke and steadily work 6 h a day on top of going to high school in order to achieve their dream...). You should see her blush as she says "Mom, I LIKE S..." She was thrilled that he came to watch her compete last fall and rather disappointed not to see him on the Christmas program (now he works at another rink and does not teach her class). The vicisitudes of love at age 4...
I am not sure in which language I was dreaming on, so I doubt I'd interpret 'Russian' as rushing. But I might have changed it into 'ruse', or 'russe' (Russian) into 'rusé' (sly, crafty) or 'Russin' into 'russig' (sooty) . All the Russians I know are more fluent in French or German than English...
The weekend so far is going well, but silent. The mornings are a little less green , but H is wiped out by work and lack of sleep, so I should not take it personally...
Yesterday, I took D to skating class at 8 am and at 10 we met H at the new school for her test (at his insistance, I offered to take her alone). He then went to work some more and we returned to the rink for another class, lunch with a friend (vegetarian sushi rolls, Betsey) and more practice skating (does watching ice skating while sipping a tall double non fat no whip mocha qualify as exercise?).
About 2 pm he called saying he was tired and would buy chickenwings and go home to rest, would we meet him? We did (I was freezing by then). Watched a movie for a while and he left again around 4 pm for more work. He called at 5:50 pm to say he was on his way home and quite spontaneously added ILY.
He came back around 6:30 to pick us up. We went to Stars on Ice (which our D enjoyed enormously; H slept through half of it). We got out at 10 pm and went for dinner, D falling asleep on us... We dropped her in bed with her 'princess' dress on...
BTW he let me drive his new car all day and went to work in mine. And the car papers list our home (not the office) as his address...
Wow, this is a lengthy post. Better stop now before I become even more mired in minutiae...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Sounds like a lot of positives... Dont worry about the talk it will come in time, or maybe not. You might just have to accept the fact that he is back and working so hard to prove his love to you and forget about the talk...
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
I don't know how I could have missed this info along the way...I more likely read and forgot it ...what IS your native language? Folks don't tend to dream in a language unless it's their original or the one they've been speaking for a long while.
(You might think having taken 8 years of French in school and 1 year of high school spanish, I MIGHT be able to figure it out....)
Opt, I am so happy for you. I think that what you are going through is very natural. Your trust and faith have been damaged..they need to be rebuilt....take your time...enjoy "dating" your husband...think back to when you were dating and do act as if...
I intend to try the very same strategy myself...I'll pray for you..pray for me.
Quote: My H does not have diagnosed coronary problems, but he is a time bomb: his father died of an MI in his late 50s, he is an untreated diabetic (refuses to consider meds, but does not follow the diet and exercise plan), he is overweight, male and in his 40s... enough risk factors to worry about. At least he does not smoke.
Ouch!!! I was assuming his fatigue was jet lag and/or depression, but have you considered the possibility his diabetes is worsening? It can cause fatigue and mood swings.
Would he at least take vitamins for you? B complex to lower his homocysteine levels (an in dependent risk factor for heart disease) and chromium (a trace mineral that's helpful for Type 2 diabetics).
Can you at least affect what he's eating at home by serving more meals with lean protein (like chicken breasts) and veggies, and cutting down the carbs and making them complex carbs?
Could you get him to walk with you in the evenings after dinner (okay, so it may be too cold right now, I know - but later?)? Exercise is great for Type 2 diabetes. Could you motivate him with a desire to shape up and lose weight without mentioning the diabetes? Or would he buy it if you said YOU wanted to lose weight and get fit and needed his support?
Trust me, Ellie: I've tried. I cook lean at home (last night we had roast turkey with mushrooms and baked baby potatoes) but then he goes and eats a taco for lunch. He says he will control it with exercise but then he is always too tired.
He has a whole gym in his office and does not use it. We even have some equipment at home but he resents any attempts at 'mothering' him...
I've only been able to give him fish oil capsules at breakfast and that because D gives them to him. I understand OW had given him a ton of different vitamin pills that he still has at his office... but that is one of the subjects he never wants to talk about.
And the worst thing is that he watched his mother die, and it was not pretty. I've even told him I do not want him to do to D what his mother did to SIL and him...
I bought a glucometer to check his FBS in the morning and has not even taken it off the box.
I can't win for losing...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Any sense of "rushin' things?" 
. All the Russians I know are more fluent in French or German than English...
, but H is wiped out by work and lack of sleep, so I should not take it personally... 
...what IS your native language? Folks don't tend to dream in a language unless it's their original or the one they've been speaking for a long while.