No 2 x 4s from me today. Just do your best to make the talk comfortable and non-threatening. See, he's afraid to tell you things - ostensibly because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings - but really because he wants to protect HIMSELF from the pain of dealing with your pain and his guilt.
For my H and I, the secret of reaching that place where we could discuss painful things was for ME to not react emotionally or defensively, so he would realize it was "safe" to tell me things, and for him to recognize that I didn't need or want to be "protected" from things, and he was just protecting himself. To do this, though, you have to bite your tongue, control your tears, swallow your pride, and be prepared for what you may hear. Hard for a lot of us LBSs who dealt with things by sticking our heads in the sand