Go for it! I think getting your certificate in office skills will help you in the job market, as well as learning new skills, meeting new people and a change of scenery.
As for your h texting notes on gambling strategy, maybe he's planning to have you "type" them up for him? LOL!
Enjoy your weekend!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Snodderly! I think the certificate couldn't hoit. I know how to do a fair amount of office related tasks, but during my epic job search last year became fully completely totally aware how important it is to have a piece of paper that says I know what I know. And who knows how long wonderful-job will last? Things do happen in this world, and while it will be great to have something other than fastfoodland on the resume, I would still be faced with the "Schooling? ... not much in the last 20 years..."
H told me he later figured out his phone does have a word app, so maybe I won't continue to be a "notes" receptacle. In the past, when H has had his grand ideas (and some of them have indeed been grand) he has had me "edit" and proof read his writing. So far this time, for the BlackJack book, he has not.
Although, he did tell me yesterday that it was "on the screen" if I wanted to take a look. I didn't at that time but I'll feel the sitch out and perhaps ask about it.
Question. Just prior to bd, and for a couple months after, H had radically changed his diet and lost about 40 pounds. His diet was extreme, apples and like a dozen almonds or something - and little else. He has slid off that, has regained I'd say about 15 pounds, and is suddenly re-interested in food. (During the diet/ bd era he claimed he was no longer interested in food, nothing appealed to him.) And now he has an appetite again. I think this is good? A sign that his depression might not be quite so deep atm? I have seen references to the MLC diet/weight before, could this be a possible sign that something's changing? (And lordy could it be a change-for-the-better??) Hoping for some vet responses here!! (Not-so-vets welcome too )
Anyway, I'm taking advantage of his renewed interest and doing a sort of 180. Maybe its more like a 110...
I have usually been the family cook, although H can and does cook if schedules dictate thus. However, I haven't, for YEARS, really tried with my dinners. I'd throw together "enough" but now I'm trying to up my game.
I'm not "expecting" anything from H other than him to eat the food. Just thinking here that if he can begin to enjoy one area of life, it might spill over into other areas. Well, that's my current game plan anyway.
I woke up rather depressed, feeling that ache in the chest (soul), and despairing over "how long can I do this"? I wallowed for a bit until something, some voice from some where said "Who knows how long you can do this!! But, you can do it for today, now get out of bed!!"
I'm choosing to find this voice motivational rather than crazy
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
For them, it is not a crises, it is an awakening, and they feel like they are finally on the correct path. Everything in their past means nothing to them, including us. We only remind them of their life they see as a failure.
When we understand this it helps us to be compassionate towards them, and not take their rejection of us so personally. It really is about them, not us.
This is the greatest pain that you and I have likely faced in our life, but know that theirs is even worse!
The above brazenly stolen from 2.4's thread. Posted here as a reminder to myself.
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
I think it's a wonderful that you have some goals in place and I think you'll enjoy going to school. You'll be surprised at how much that type of work has changed over the years.
As for your h's diet and lost weight and now he's gained it back...that's all part of the mlc script. They tend to diet very hard at the beginning because they want their teen bodies back and to catch the eyes of the women. Later on, as they progress through replay, they begin to settle down a bit and start eating again. My xh lost quite a bit and looked skinny as a rail, the smallest I had ever seen him early on in replay and then later on, he gained not only gained the weight back he had lost, but even more. The last time I saw him, he looked to be about 300+ pounds and looked like Baby Huey of the cartoons. Not good.
I don't see any harm in preparing some good home cooked meals that your h would enjoy. It gives them something to think about when they are away from home.
I do hope you have something nice planned for yourself today, i.e., even if it's just to rest.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
this is a really interesting and pertinent (all of a sudden) group of posts. i'm wondering for me too - why all of a sudden am i asking myself wtf and why did i stay- and WHAT DO I WANT for the rest of my life. like evryone- i don't want what i have rite now- it $ucks alot. it hurts - it could destroy you if you let it - what would i like?- what we all want of course.
why did i stay in the first place- - - because at that exact time (and shocked rite down to the roots of my hairs) - i was sooooo sure we loved each other and somehow "it will all work out". I also felt "it was worth fighting for - what we had".
now- maybe i was (am) nuts on that count. maybe it's ruined beyond compare (approaching 2 years & seriously exhausted) . maybe it never was what i thought. maybe maybe maybe.
i know it's exhaustion- and frustration - and reality- and h's that are soooo immersed in their own mlc and trauma that i am beginning to wonder IF THEY EVER EVER EVER come out the other side. i sense everyone of us is feeling this sort of thing - how could several years feel like an eternity in he!l? i'm askin ya.
and me too - i wonder IF I WANT this man , if this is truly who he is or has become.
mwd's right - it's the hardest thing we'll ever do. and no guarantee = and it's hard to maintain one's original perspective as time and life wears on. some days i curse her & the book & some days i am thankful-
being apart gives one perspective (i spend alot of time apart) being togethr gives another- i'm apart more- i think it's detrimental more than helpful. not sure tho
reading with interest - glad i'm not alone in something like this in life- if i couldn't read this stuff and realize i'm not the only one going thru this kind of thing - i'd think i was going insane and no kidding...
I was thinking of starting a betting pool at my end to see how long it might be until xSO contacts me. Do you think your H would be willing to work out the odds?
I was thinking of starting a betting pool at my end to see how long it might be until xSO contacts me. Do you think your H would be willing to work out the odds?
Hope everything is well with you!
Ah Portia!!
You made me laugh
And a little sad too, cause I know how hard these days are for you.
(((hugs))) to you honey
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
)
