No 2x4 from me. I think your dream is telling you that you need something to work with (chew on, if you want fish speak). He agreed to talk so this should be okay.
Why not start by saying, "H, I don't want either one of us to be overwhelmed by this, so how about we limit this convo to a half hour and then head to the movies?"
Or whatever time limit you think both of you can handle. That way, he'll know that this issue is not going to be something that goes on ad nauseum and ruins both of your days.
Maybe just jot down a couple things to ask? And then button your lips and allow the dust to settle before you speak or ask more questions? Or use the technique that we were taught last summer?
Our MC taught us a technique that works for R talks really well... if you already know this one, then you can ignore it and read on.
Since you have the questions, you agree to be the interrogator and he agrees to be the detainee (for lack of a better word). You may only ask questions, and he may only answer them. When you are finished, you signal the end by asking the question, "Is there anything else I need to know about this?" And then you switch places--he becomes the questioner and you become the questionee until he signals the end with his final question: "Is there anything else I need to know?"
It works well for a variety of reasons--the primary one being that it forces each one of you to listen. Do you and your H do the thing that mine and me did? While you're supposedly listening, you're preparing your rebuttal (which means you're not really listening)?
This method is a great obstacle to that process. Since you're only asking questions, you aren't preparing a response. Since he's only answering them, he can't do the same.
JMTCW.
Big hugs! Go YOU!
Bruce
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
