Beginning and end of a bright green morning

[optimist]

Good afternoon, everybody.

I don't know what has come up to the bb, but I'm buried in posts to check up... totally crazy day, I guess.

H came home late last night (nearly 7 pm) and very tired. I suggested we went to a movie, but he preferred to do it today. He had dinner and went to bed around 8 pm. Before falling asleep I asked him how his new employee (the one that was supposed to substitute OW and her daughters starting last Fri) was doing. He muttered rather reluctantly that the employee in question never turned up. He was going to call her today to see what had happened. I refrained from asking if OW or her daughters were still there. We fell asleep.

At 4 am I woke up in the middle of a nightmare. In my dream, H and I were staying at a hotel somewhere and he tells me that he is going to have dinner with a male colleague. I smell something fishy and ask him to take me with him to the dinner so I can meet this person as his wife. He mutters and says "OK, dinner at eight. I'm going for a walk" At seven, I'm all dressed up and ready to go when H tells me (again muttering: he does that when he lies) that he already went to dinner with that guy. I get mad and storm out. My marriage is over for 2 reasons: he did not include me, he lied to me again. At this point I wake up in a sweat and H is hugging me.

He asked what's up, but did not ask for particulars when I said I had had a nightmare. We checked the time and as it was still early we continued our new early morning routine... Then, we snuggled until 6 am when he got up to fix breakfast for both and I went to work. During our quiet time, I casually mentioned I hoped we would have finally time to talk today... He said yes in a very matter of fact way.

The upshot of it is I need to have that talk. I need clear and defined goals for our R, and I need to be included in whatever is going on in his life. And that includes his office. I am not ready to go back in time to the phase of doubts, fears, ASSumptions and snooping. I have waited and given him time to readjust to being back, but I am not going to wait forever. He has a chance of making our M work, and I will meet him half way. Or three quarters of the way, if I have to. But I refuse to grope for my way in the dark. This is not a question of whether OW is in the picture at all; to me it is a question of having the cards up in the open in our R.

OK, get the 2x4s ready if you want... Shiny, do you have any other insight as to my dream? Am I missing some major psychological point?