Time for the Loop the Loop on this rollercoaster!

[SM34]

I know you guys are right. There is no single reason for this mess. I should know better than to buy into a 'reason' as such.

the lest couple of days I have been feeling down.again. I need to pick up.the posting here as it is therapeutic to share with you all.

Will post again soon.

Thank you!

[SM34]

I know you guys are right. There is no single reason for this mess. I should know better than to buy into a 'reason' as such.

the lest couple of days I have been feeling down.again. I need to pick up.the posting here as it is therapeutic to share with you all.

Will post again soon.

Thank you!

[SM34]

I know you guys are right. There is no single reason for this mess. I should know better than to buy into a 'reason' as such.

the lest couple of days I have been feeling down.again. I need to pick up.the posting here as it is therapeutic to share with you all.

Will post again soon.

Thank you!

[MrBond]

What happened to that long list of GAL activities you were going to accomplish?

[leopoldstotch]

I know you guys are right. There is no single reason for this mess. I should know better than to buy into a 'reason' as such.

the lest couple of days I have been feeling down.again. I need to pick up.the posting here as it is therapeutic to share with you all.

Will post again soon.

Thank you!

If you know we are right then why don't you listen? There's no doubt in my mind that your arrogance on here most definitely existed in your M and that's why your W still continues to sleep with the OM. When do you plan on placing the boundary of her moving out as long as she continues with OM?

[SM34]

Im just not sure that's the right move righr now. I mean I see her looking back now.. I see her talking about future stuff unlike before.

I hear from friends OM is not a permanent thought anymore.

She asks me about things with my business. And I know she doesnt think I am a built for business ownership.

since our separation I have started a third business and I notice her feeling out if I am changing in that respect or not. She has told me befors she thought I could be a big shot working for a large company etc.. Also she thought I needed a businrss location in this better part of town so after she left me, I did exactly what she had always said was the best business move. Now she is looking to see if I can make it profitable.

So I see her second guessing her decision, but unfortunately there is not much change in the income department. It takes many months to launch a new business and get it to where it is profitable.

It actually has to get worse.before it can get better. I am doing this for my future and that of my daughter, not for my wife. But I also understand that wife felt I have been going around in circles for a few years and now she sees me being proactive.

the OM thing is not going to last. I see guys hitting on her on Facebook and her friends tell me about how so and so is trying to talk to her. But she is here 5 or 6 nights a week, making me dinner, cleaning, inviting me to spend time together, even helping me spread the word of my new business,lication (using fb, angies list, etc..) Which is something she stopped a long time ago because she didnt care anymore.

So it almost seems like she is dragging out this OM thing as companionship and to crank the heat up on me to get myself together and be the success I was supposed to be. She could easily jump ship now to a bettee OM than she has. But she hasnt. She continues to be wife in every aspect.except bedroom, and keeps testing to see when she should start feeling her decision is wrong.

I know its complete BS that a wife would drop her husband because of bad times. But a woman needs a provider and I havent done.such a good job of that in recent years.

So listening to her on business matters, and bettering the busness so we can atleast get our life back is priority. Not just for her, or even without her. My finances are in such a mess that I need to fix it for myself and,my daughter. I just happen to know the respect for me will go up big time if I can turn it around!

She said I used to be alpha, because I was. I got what I wanted in business, and loss was just a hiccup and a learning experience for me. At some point I becamse a passive beta and started blaming my failing business on external stuff instead of finding a way to fix it.

Same with sex. I used to be alpha. I would TELL her to get undressed and put on something sexy and meet me in the bedroom. The same time my business wasnt performing I began to doubt myself. I became too beta and expressed confusion, fear, and lack of a plan of how to get our family back on track.

I,need to be a husband only a fool would leave, and quickly. I think she is looking but not seeing much change in what really,matters to her.

The 180s are nice, but not what she needs to see in order for respect to come back.

I read an article about visible.change and how its important for WAS.to see you working at the things that bother them. Better communication etc is not going to help me because we never had issues with that. She enjoys my company.

She needs me to show no fear, to be prosctive at fixes.our finances, to implememt some of her suggestions in business, to look like I can lead.and that she has nothing to worry about for the future.

Im going to ty to talk to my coach this week and see what she thinks. She had told me 6 months or more is what it would take before she starts to re examine her decision. We are not there yet.

[SM34]

Yay that posted immediately! Im off moderation! im back guys! Well the more,humble me, with more humility.

[SM34]

On the GAL, I have been spending time with.friends just having fun. But my priority right now is turning my business around.

Gal is to make you feel good about yourself and take youitcgr mind off your sitch. But then my mind is not on my sitch anymorw much, its on the favt that my daughter is getting older and her expenses are going up.

My mind is on my debts, my dreams, my aspirations. I couldnt give a rats ass about friends right.now. My free time is spent working on my website, promoting my business,etc.

I have family who have invested in my business. I cant let them down or let my daughter down. She has to have a better life than I did, and that'd gking to be a tough order.... But im up for the task.

Somehow I feel I have gotten the drive back that I used to gave. I used to be so driven, so ambitious, never cared about missing out on something. I wanted to succeeed. Its not about money, its about the feeling of success. I havw been there as a 25 year old but in the last few years the series of business losses broke me. Im back now!

The funny thing is, when it was going well, I listened to my wife by backing away from working too much. She said life is short and we,need to enjoy it. My parents and brother (who now owns a multi million dollar business witg almost 100 employees) warned me. They said work hard now in your 20s and 30s so you can cut back in your 40s and enjoy the fruits of your labor.

I didnt listen, and chose my wifes view. Now she blames me for our standard of living not being what it should have been and blames it on me not listening to her about small business things, and not om the fact that I stsrted leavimg my employees to run my business.

In the,meantime,my brothe is now 38 and has a net worth of several million and can retire.soon if he wants. And his wife loves and reapects his ambition and dedication to providing a good future for his kids.

I dont know. It may arrogance, it may be ambition and high seld regard. But I think we all have to be true to ourselves and what we want out of lufe. And the by product of high ambition and success, while balncing familt and fun time of course, is respect and admiration from your wife.

Women are progeammed to seek a spouse who can providw for theur off spring. I think that is innate and underestimated.

Any views? try not to attack me guys I am only beimg honest and true to myself and what my life goals have always been.

[SM34]

Sorry for the typos. Using a phone because I am ecstatic to be off moderation and being able to post immediately from wherever I am lol

[SM34]

Oh and today I bought the first batch of things needed so I can make a start on the backyard makeover for S3.

Wife will eat her words when I not only make the best backyard ever, but when I FINISH what I started. Something she doesnt think I am capable.of.

25mlc, you may remember tbis project and you may rember warning me to make sure I finish it. I will not disappoint you! This project will take many Weeks but it will be finished. And.it starts tomorrow.

Tomorrow: empty the koi pond, take the koi to a pet store, cut out the pond liner, cut the grass around, pull weeds, sweep the deck.

Wife may be at OM so she will be pleasantly surprised whn she gets back. Not sure if she is going over there tonight as her usual Sunday to Tuesday plan. Her friends tell me OM may be on his way out because wife confronted him about not having moved to our city yet....after 5 months.

Im sorry honey, did he lie to you? Noooo. No way an affair partner lied.