Hello all, there are moments that I think I just can't do this. Know I have no choice in the matter. Have to do for myself and kids. Feel alone even though I know there are so many of us here in this crazyvstupid situation. I need hugs, I need support. I need encouragement. Keep thinking he is going to come to his senses! Trying to detach. Sent him a text giving update on d. He's out to dinner- part of his job, frequent dinners out,,, my resentment leads me to add that that I don't have to give update on d. Perhaps I should say nothing.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Sending hugs your way. I fully understand how your are feeling willbwell, I need hugs, I need support and I need encouragement.The only place I get it is here on this forum. I am not getting it out in the real world. I also keep hoping my W is going to come to her senses. Just keep trying to do the 180's, detach and keep on the forum. That is what we have, which is better than not having anything at all. This forum will help you, me and the others get through all this.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Thanks HWA, Feel the same in regards to communication. If it were not for kids, he would not text... I get nothing from him. Its just too bad. I think he can't deal with the sit so he just works and keeps his focus there. Doesn't matter the pain and turmoil he is leaving in its wake.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
coming here instead of sending nasty text. D has special Olympics track meet tonight. Is h coming? No. D sent a text to H asking him to come. His response... I won't come, I'll see you tomorrow. He is out of town, but I think it is about choices. If he wanted, he could have been back. D is staying with H tomorrow night at is apt. S 16 doesn't go. would like to tell h that D has asked all day "why dad no come my track?" My response is dad is working. Would like to say to H that it is about choices and he is choosing work and OW. Why should he get it both ways??He sees the kids when it is convenient for him. And, I have to swallow it and say nothing. I could kick his #ss
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
That's [censored]!! I know exactly how you feel and what it comes down to is that your H is selfish. I'm dealing with same thing with my W. Just focus on being the strong support for your kids
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Feel like the story of the little red hen. Hen does all the work. No one wants to help but then want some of the bread. I do everything for the kids. H thinks it's ok to reap the rewards of being with them. Now I know better than to speak ugly about h in front of kids and I will allow him to see them whenever. Someone else said about the choice when S is having an A.
Be the better choice or ask if he is going to be so disrespectful to our family to please leave us alone. This is my delimma....
D called & text h last night. No reply from him. Usually he does. I did ask him why he did not reply. He will ignore. Do I repeat my request? Do I leave it?
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Journaling... D went to stay last night at H's apt. She thinks its fun packing up her bag. as they were walking to the car, I thought how sad. There goes another split up family doing wkend visits. The neighbors out enjoying the nice weather thinking oh....what a shame. It is. I think there is so much genuine suffering in the world, unnecessary violence, illness that have no rhyme or reason... and yet 1 person can cause such heartache to a family because of their selfishness. I try to insert empathy here. Family doesn't mean the same to H as it does to me. H doesn't talk to his sisters. But, he is a grown man responsible for his behavior. He sees me as the enemy now. I am in his way in regards to his doing his own thing. I am just the mother of his children. I am the one causing him stress. I think he was brought up to not deal with inner turmoil issues. However, he has found a GF to talk to. Someone 10 years younger than me. Someone with 2 children from 2 different men. someone who I am sure can give him great advice. Does this make me bitter? sure it does. Do I get a say? NO. That he spends time with her rather than his own children is so disgusting to me.Ok, what happened to me being detached?? My struggle is deciding if I continue to allow myself to be disrespected in this way. I keep a positive spin for the children. D tells H she doesn't want him to live in apt. I don't want him back out of guilt. this r with OW is 1 yr now. D will say to me, you go to dinner with dad. I respond, well, dad wants to spend time with you and besides I have some work to do at home. in reality, I would like to say... well the fact of the matter is that dad doesn't want to have dinner with me. I feel I constantly cover for H. H wants it both ways. he wants his life but then he wants to have a little connection with the kids- not too much though...I'm rambling. I'll go read more posts here. It helps..
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
I am told to detach. Tell me to just stop breathing. Everything he does or does not do impacts me and also my children. I'm getting ready to go take a walk. I need it. H has kids at a bball game. that is good. D asks why I am not going...I want to ask H how would he like me to respond. H gets on the defensive.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
did not call or text at all yesterday. He picked up the kids this am for school. said good morning how are you( me) I will not call or text today. We don't have a conversation about anything...Some house finance stuff and some school stuff I want to bring up with him but feel a negative reaction coming... maybe I just take care of it myself... He doesn't ask if I need anything. I had my physical yesterday. He knew, did not ask how it went...
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Have done well not texting., calling. two days. Can't stand it. This is worst time of day for me. Have a glass of wine while Im fixing dinner for kids and me(every day). know its not good. Dr says stop. Not drinking to get drunk, but just want it... should drink tea, should go for a walk but d is on wind down time. having a bath. so I get one minute ... Would like to ask how does he justify??? S 19 gets home from college fri. I am glad to have him home! We'll go to dinner Fri eve. He will want his dad to come. I will say dad has separated himself...D19 thinks I don't make dad welcome. so not true. I am very friendly, accommodating. But, time to say look, can't have all the enjoyable times if your not willing to put in day to day. Am I wrong in this??
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
