Newman, In my sitch I contacted the OM directly and it did make a difference, but short lived and my W was furious. I really took a huge leap backwards doing that. I regret it. For me right now W is friends with OM, text from time to time and swears only friends (he lives out of state), do I believe this, not really, but not much I can do about it? For me it has to be her choice, not mine. If it ends because I force it, it wont end and/or she will have so much resentment that it wont matter, make any sense? I know how hard it is, I know the hurt, I know the need to know. Look at my sitch over 600 post and my BD was in Nov. and i am just now getting this stuff. I am just sharing so that you have something else to look at. I know each sitch is different and only you really know it. Good luck and breathe.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
