do i agree. sometimes i am SURE this is a waste of my time and life. then i think about a girlfriend who found out about her husband- crashed & burned - went to attorney - went to psychiatrist (and had drugs) for a year or two- trying to get over it or get a handle on it=-
one thing she said stuck with me TOTALLY - SHE SAID her psychiatrist was a woman- who'd been married three times. she said to friend: "just think long and hard before you walk out of this marriage. if nothing else it's familiar ground for you. Unless you have something ELSE wonderful there waiting for you- WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING TO???? don't be too anxious to just end it all - IT'LL be lonely and a hard adjustment. maybe just hang on with "the devil you know' for awhile - til you are more settled or sure.
it spoke to me- what am i running to. nothing in particular. maybe my ego or my esteem would be better if i felt allllll powerful- but it's true. i know from sitting here bored & lonely most of the time- it's no picnic to be bored and lonely most of the time.
i'm awaiting wisdom- or to wake up one moring and know in my heart & soul this is the day- get away- move on- let him go because he is not the person I'd ever want to be with - FOR SURE.
AWAITING CERTAINTY. IS that sooooo bad after thinking for 35 years this was my "life". ?
