NILWY - There is this "chemistry" b/w us

[Kim65]

Thanks again KD!!..

I will look into ACOA!!

To get back to answering some of your past questions..

With my weight I have been following the Dukan Diet and it has worked well for me!.. I only have 4 kilos (?8 pound)to go and I will be at goal weight.. I've done this for me, my weight has never been an issue for H, but it has for me. I also do bike classes and take part in a "bootcamp" exercise program. I always have been active and enjoy the buzz I get from a good workout!! Since H and I have been together H has become involved in exercise too! And he enjoys it. H was a couch potato when I met him.

And your right.. I do have a tendency to want to help people, It's something that's engrained in me!!.. At the age of 13 I was responsible for looking after my 2 younger brothers whilst my dad worked shift work. I would cook, clean, do the housework washing, ironing ect.. I'm also a nurse so taking car of people is what i do, and also being a remedial massage therapist I "fix" people!!.. It's who I am, and I know It's not always a good thing, I tend to put myself 2nd.

I know I am going to have to be careful with how far I take the "going dark" with H... As I know that he could take it that I just don't ever want to hear from him again, as you say, just enough to detach...

My SD and I have never had any problems. SD said I will always be her Step mum and nothing will change that... she is very angry with her father and doesn't really want to have anything to do with him at the moment. I have said to her no matter what he is you dad. She doesn't want a bar of the OW, neither do H's step daughters!... (one is 30,the other is 27) They are in the same mind set..

I like the term you used "moving forward" instead of "moving on". That sits better with me, moving on to me gives the impression of giving up or throwing away our R. So yes I'm working on moving forward!!...

H goes down again to Melbourne tomorrow, and he's not taking OW. His sister said that it's not appropriate for her to be there. His father is very upset about it all. I'm going down next Tuesday to see him and a couple of his siblings. It's H's birthday tomorrow, I've brought him a funny card an have not written "love from M" ... Just made it light.. as I'm supposed to do.

H and I shared a bottle of red wine and were just enjoying each others company tonight which was nice... I noticed he was back and forth a lot to his room, more than usual. He keeps his phone there and OW texts him, as I said he seemed to be in and out a lot tonight. I noticed his mood changed, I couldn't help but say in passing that he'll wear the floor out!! Not long after that he said he was gong to bed, I just said good night, sleep well...

I have probably felt the best I have in the last couple of days as I think I'm realizing that I need to make myself happy and that I will be OK, I can't change whats happening but I can be his friend and well we'll see what happens?? The roller coaster is finally starting to slow down a little... And I can see a little light at the end of the tunnel!..