It's good to be here

[Mileus]

Well, I thought I was better. I've kept losing weight (48 pounds now) and I've been going out with friends. My kids are doing well. Everything seemed like progress.

Then yesterday she came to visit and wanted to sign the custody papers giving me custody of our son. She wants to get married to this guy, I think within a couple weeks. She says she's happy, but she definitely doesn't act it when she's home, which is only about 1X per week, if that.

I offered to do what she needed to help her visit, even not being there, but she said the older two are old enough to visit her and the youngest doesn't care that she's gone. He's autistic and they are both still hurting because she walked out on them, so I think she's being unreasonable, but what can I do?

I miss her, but I don't really want her back anymore, not if this is who she is going to be. It's just a bit overwhelming sometimes doing everything on my own now. One child is depressed, one is autistic, and one is pregnant. As long as I'm around, everything is fine. But, I can't really leave them all together for long periods, just too much hurt and anger still. Nothing bad happens, just hurt feelings, but it's better when I'm around.

In addition, she still doesn't have a job and wants to drop her monthly payment down to 600 which means I'll have to start charging the older two rent. This is definitely not something I want to do, I'd like them to focus on finishing school and getting real jobs, but I just don't make enough to support 4 and a house on my own.

I know there isn't anything I can do to control her behavior, and I'm not trying. I'm still GAL and working on myself, but she has certainly made my life difficult. I just needed to tell someone before I went crazy. My family has helped out enough and I want to try to figure out the finances on my own for now. I hope everyone else's situation improves, mine seems to be heading the wrong direction.