[in_it]

Azguy, I think I've always had a strong personality. It's for sure helping in my sitch. Also, right after BD I didn't spend too much time begging, pleading, etc. At least I don't think I did. Really I only did that the very first night & immediately started refusing to hear him when he said he was leaving. He will bring it up occasionally, him leaving. I used to say-'I don't believe you, you're still here' & h would always say 'You're right'. It's been a while since that's happened.

I did a lot of stuff wrong & still do. But having a strong mindset has helped me. Plus, the fact that OW lives in another state helps. I know he's not seeing her every single day & that's to my benefit. So, I suck it up & bite my tongue when I hear his phone buzz from a text & turn the other way.

My mind does race like crazy though & that's my downfall. If I picked up the phone & called or text H everytime I wanted to make contact I would be doing so by the minute.