I'm guessing everyone will tell me it's a big fat step backwards, but I had to do it. I didn't feel like the state of deep withdrawal from W was really the best route to go, at least not yet. So I wrote her a letter...a very gentle, honest, loving letter. No expectations, I even let her know that she didn't need to take it, I was just offering.
I just wanted to let her know that my honoring her need for space and time was in no way indicative that I was quitting, that I don't want her to think it's just 'more of the same'; that I expected nothing from her; that I would be there for her if she needs me; and finally, that if by reaching out to her from time to time is hurting her, she could let me know without any kind of fear or apprehension...
I guess that's really just a quick summary. There was more, but along the same vein...
Of course, I felt that it was something I had to do, things I had to let her know. Now that I've done it, I feel a little more comfortable with trying to 'stay out of the way.' Those aren't really the words I'm looking for, but it's the best I could do right now. Anyways, I know I'll slip up from time to time, but I'm trying to figure out how to detach. I'm starting to see that I can do this without abandoning my hopes or my love, but it's hard. Now that I've given her the letter, I guess I feel a little better about pulling back a bit now...
