Wow, each day seems to get worse for me. I am not intentionally doing this, but I don't want to talk to her or even be in the same room with her right now. I am not very good a hiding this set of emotions and I know I am coming off as being "off" if not a little distant/rude. I just don't know what to do right now. I am so disappointed, betrayed, and repulsed. I HATE feeling like I am being mean in anyway, but as soon as I am around her I just want to leave. I am not being snippy or saying mean things, I am just very quick to end any conversation she engages me in, and it's very obvious. She's reaching out and I just don't want any part of it right now. I really don't like feeling like this, but maybe this is what has to happen to begin to show her what she is losing. Or maybe I'm messing it all up and fueling her fire. Ugh.
She's asked me again what is wrong, and I said "nothing." The natural response for her is going to be that she will eventually stop reaching out to be nice to me if I keep acting this way, I just don't know how to be around her right now. This has nothing to do with the divorce moving along and nothing to do with my grandmother passing away two days ago, which I haven't told her about. It's all my feeling the sum of all the betrayal by her and I can't pretend it's okay anymore and that we're going to be best buds.
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
