Crazy little thing called MLC

[AJM]

Raine, GG said a lot of true things. You may want to re-read that when you have the chance.

In so many ways I get the feeling to run away. I find myself looking at jobs out of state. I want to D and run away from it all and not have to see him or deal with him. I fight that with wanting my kids to have a good relationship with their dad. I want my kids to have both parents. I think about being remarried and blending families and the work involved with that and how that would be so hard on the kids. I think about how hard it is to be a single mom. It makes me hold on that maybe H will come around at some point and we can fix things and our M can be better than it was before.

It's emotion vs logic. Logically I'm not going anywhere. Even if I was divorced, nothing would change. I wouldn't be dating or anything. I just think I wouldn't be hurt by him being with OW. (I probably still would be, and likely even more so because he wouldnt need to hide it anymore.) But that pain seems worth it if things can work out in the end.

I get it. I was there at one point. It wasn't what I asked for and I did want to run away. I get that. I can tell you that feeling fades away in time. Face it and don't let it beat you. You have the right idea about staying put. You aren't the broken one and you didn't break him. You have no reason to run away and many to stand your ground.
As for the OW and all that? You deserve to be angry about that. But face the issues as they come up. Don't borrow trouble right? Things will likely change as time goes on. He has a lot to work through and it will show more as time progresses.

Hang in there. It's a lot to process. Don't try to process it all at once. Make a concerted effort not to if you can. It'll work out whether you worry about it or not

Peace,
AJ