Suckerpunch down to the wire

[25yearsmlc]

well if it's done it's done so there's not much to say.

I think you're doing a lot of justifying right now b/c you could have slowed this down or merely filed for a sep. You are doing as much rewriting as she is,

but hey, you want it to end. I get that. We each have different end points.

To ME, your timeline is so much shorter than what I'd have done, I have to stand back so I don't impose my values on you too much.

Keep up your personal work.

As for what to say to other people, I don't see the big complicated situation you see.

I faced the SAME types of questions for a lot longer. I just said "we're facing a marital challenge right now and I really appreciate knowing you are rooting for us" and I ENDED the conversation.

If they probed, I'd tell them that I "don't think it helps me to share a lot of details that are really between us" but you don't like conflict with OTHERS so you won't say that.

You fear them not liking you, a lot more than what you feared about your wife's reactions.

I'd suggest for you, an answer like "it's a little too hard for me to talk about right now but thanks for your concern" and end the talk.

They will NOT ask more if you merely repeat that and there's no reasonable person who would continue to pursue a conversation about your marriage after you've told them, twice, that's it's too hard for you to talk about,

Good luck with your personal growth. I really hope it continues.

I also hope that you don't bad mouth your wife to your d or around her.

It can affect your custody rights, and it ALWAYS harms the child...always