How do I proceed? Just back from Retrouvaille.

[BFloat]

While you are doing RV and the follow ups.. If i remember correctly.. Those types of "talks" (is say this because in my experience it usually ends up as an emotionally charged discussion with tears to punctuate how strongly you feel).. May be better suited as potential dialogue topics? Then it is in a better controlled environment and also has a time limit.

I know it's hard.. Because i am guilty of wanting to say something too. These days I try to ask myself.. What is the outcome i am looking for?

I think like you.. It's been a very difficult ride because I was also the type of spouse who really tried to support H. I wanted him to be happy.. Tried to pick my battles and let go of the little things.. When my H left, he couldn't tell me what the problem was except that he didn't want to be married.. Needed to find his own happiness.. To be authentic to himself basically. Sound familiar?

If your H is willing to continue with the follow up sessions.. It's a good thing. He may not believe that love is a choice today.. That he just doesn't believe things will get better.. So be it. But maybe tomorrow he'll feel differently. And maybe it just means that going through the process doesn't lead to R but that he at least had moments where he had to listen to your heart.

(((( ))))