A New Beginning - after 2 years...

[keep_going]

Acc - Your summary is right on the money. I wish I could be as concise with words as you are - lol...

If my H knows me well, H'll know that I will play chicken with him only up to a point. Once the kids' well-being is in play, I will back down. So he might call my bluff that I wouldn't just move in with my parents indefinitely... Yet it's the only card I can play to try to protect myself from being left hanging with all the expenses after I go back to work and incur more debt. We'll see.

My L agrees that it sux because as long as he doesn't have a job, I don't have much of a leg to stand on...I cannot force him to do anything.

She told me: "As your L I will tell you that if you go back to work now, it will most likely benefit your H in the D negotiations. Yet, I cannot tell you what to do - only you know the extent and seriousness of your financial situation and if and when you need to support yourself and your kids."

As for the CCs, we always had joint ones - I never felt the need to have separate ones and trusted H completely. Since DB, I took myself off all of them except one, which has had zero balance for years.

We just started using it a month ago to pay for school tuition and health care. I monitor it daily and H doesn't charge anything to it - all his expenses go to his personal CCs now. So yes, it is highly likely H may have cash stashed away or has incurred a lot of debt on his own, but that is now out of my control.

Funny thing is that H's L expressed concern to my L that I would start living it up and charging like crazy, but then again, he doesn't know me. Since H left, I have gradually reduced my discretionary spending to pretty much zero when H lost his job. It's just the right thing to do for my family.

I chose not to take my name off of this card, in case I have any emergency - I needed a place to borrow money from and after I stopped working when S2 was born, new CC offers stopped coming in for me. As soon as I figure out this agreement with H and start working, I will take my name off that one as well.

Fun stuff, isn't it?