Almost two years and still stuck in limbo

[sandi2]

I did it again.....hit the submit button too soon!

LBH's are afraid that if they don't pursue the WAW, it will push her away. No so! Pursuing worked back in the days you were dating her. All through the MR, she wanted you to seduce and even ravish her. But once she's done and she is interested in another man, she doesn't want you chasing her around. If you try, it turns her off! Pursuing her is what pushes her away.

She will need breathing space to get through this. Family activities are good. Anywhere there is a group of people usually works best. But she won't be ready to cozy up to for a good while.

Your best course of action is to remain firm about no contact. You can be a nice person to her, but don't over do it. She's smart, and when she starts really craving contact with him, she'll try most anything......especially if ending things was not her idea! This was against her wishes, so that really could cause her to dream of "what might have been" more.

Don't go too far over to the other side and get all "sweetie-pie" on her. Don't try to have intimate talks, or show her you understand what she's feeling, etc. She needs to see you acting cool, calm, & confident as a man. She needs to see you standing firm as a H, and she especially needs to see that boundary line without any blurred vision or perception.

I would encourage you not to ask her questions that are "obvious" about her whereabouts, etc. But at the same time, realize that she's in a delicate stage, and neither her or the OM can be trusted right now. So, don't make the mistake in thinking everything is okay and things will be back to normal in a few days. You have to be able to find a balance where you aren't drilling her with questions, and yet, stay on your guard. Your W and OM do not need to show up at the same event, etc.

Oh, and never fall for her or anyone suggesting that she and OM could remain "just friends"!