I just continue to NOT get how he can so easily leave our great family. We are surrounded with frinds that have great families. He doesn't see the gift that it is!
Be careful, this kind of thinking can leave you believing this is just a waiting game. But it's not, because the WAS needs to see changes before they'll think about returning. They don't want to go back to their old spouse or their old marriage. But they may want to get into a new R with a changed spouse.
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Want to vent. want to scream! will it do any good? Not to him only release some of my tension!
Yes it does good. Release it somehow. Maybe it's running, or lifting weights, or hitting a punching bag, or stuffing your face into a pillow and screaming at the top of your lungs. Find your release!
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I didn't stroke his ego enough. I was tired at the end of the day and not into his marathon sex.
Interesting how you couch both of these as insults to your husband. Think about the damage that's causing, how you phrase your 180's as being required due to his problems/ issues rather than yours. See if you can refocus yourself into thinking positively about your H, and accepting his criticism without anger/ bitterness and with a genuine interest in improving yourself in these areas.
H is out of town. I will not call or text( he is in city where OW) lives. I have a busy rest of the week with kids. Wish I could read posts more. Already I spend a lot of time here. Getting my eyes checked today! Saw somewhere good advice about Detaching...Need to go back and find that one again. Sometimes I get lost in these posts...feel overwhelmed! So many to look at, my head starts spinning!
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
What I am fearful about hit me.... All these years I have been taking care of my kids & family. It's a job I love doing! . Boys are growing up. I will always have my D to take care of. Guess I wanted my h to take care of me. To take care of our d together.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Anotherstander, of course I want this to just be a waiting game. As much as it hurts I'm not giving up. I'm trying to detach. To deal with my anger and bitterness. I know I can be so sarcastic and spew ugly venom( I feel it in me) Do feel sadness for my H.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
H seems to think sending text to D to say have a good day is being a parent. I would like to ask H if he considers what D wants? He is not doing her any favors. Maybe it makes him feel better. I don't want to guilt him or strong arm .I want him to come back because he wants to. But feel the doormat feeling and just want to call him on it. Will it bring me closer to him? so, I just have to suck it up, hand the phone to D so she can text back( I would never withhold that opportunity)but its crap that he thinks he's done his deed for the day
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
My opinion..... The only way to let him figure out if this satisfy's D is to not interfere and let D make her own opinion and voice it. If it makes her happy.....?
D is handicapped. D will never have the ability to be anything other than the sweet angel that she is. D doesn't understand why here dad is not at home nor will she ever be able to. H has walked away from his sweet daughter. She is the prize though and I am the winner. I'm better now... I will just keep coming back to journal. I think when I write it here on this forum it keeps me from angrily sending text to H.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
So you're mad at H for texting D a message to have a good day? I think it's 25 that always says "applaud the 1%". Your H is a raving jerk 99% of the time and does good things 1% of the time? Applaud the 1%!! If you encourage him for the 1%, then maybe it becomes 2%, then 10%, then....
So you're mad at H for texting D a message to have a good day? I think it's 25 that always says "applaud the 1%". Your H is a raving jerk 99% of the time and does good things 1% of the time? Applaud the 1%!! If you encourage him for the 1%, then maybe it becomes 2%, then 10%, then....
as usual, I try and be polite and do what is best for kids. I'm not patting my own back... I say thank you more frequently...
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
