AS is right, I did not want any type of pursuit from my H. I believe WAW who are in an A all have one thing in common. They no longer respect their H's. Once the respect is gone, then the desire flies out the window. And it does not usually come back a few days, b/c it takes time with effort from her.
From what I've learned, when an a WAW is in an A, and if there is suddenly a time of broken contact, she gets very moody and acts depressed. One time, when I was in the mist of my EA, the OM told me he was leaving for a week to go where there would be no cell calls or email. I acted like I was in mourning all week! The only thing that kept me hanging on was believing everything would be back to "normal" when he got home.
It's just like being without anything else that has you hooked. So when I decided to end the EA, I knew from the information from the board members what to expect. But I experienced exactly what they said I would. It was a miserable time. I think it was like a month of hard grieving, and then it took about four months before I had no temptation to contact OM. In all those months I never made contact, but I had no desire to spend time with my H, either.
I was very depressed for a long time, and was just trying to get from one day to the next. The last thing I wanted, was my H pursuing me! B/c you have to understand that when a woman reaches the stage of being a WAW, she no longer wants the attention from her H. For years, I went with my emotional needs unmet, so then OM met them. When it was cut off with OM, it was not an automatic switch that changed back over to my H and wanting him to meet my needs.
LBH's have the wrong idea when they are afraid that not pursuing will push the WAW
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
