it's sure hard, isn't it, to keep one's pma? i know what you mean about the compliment stuff. i almost cried other day because snodderly said something nice. than i realized how f'ing pitiful it is when you are grateful from a kind word from a relative stranger???!!!
sad sad sitch we all find ourselves in. well, here's something else. i think that by virtue of the fact that you care enough to be here and be trying - you've probably also got a good heart.
I can't imagine anyone shallow or faithless would even take the time or bother to try and db. what a soul-sucking experience. well, the whole being on receiving end of spouses mlc is the pits, as we all know.
i am pretty independent and strong-ego person. this has laid me as low as it could probably get for ahuman being. i am amazed myself at how damaging it is to ego & self-image. i'm trying to fight it- after (approaching) 2 yrs , i'm alot better than beginning. it's just the most painful and hard thing i've ever done. you deserve alot of applaud for doing it too. we all do-
our mate will never ever know- i think - what they have done to our hearts & souls. sounds cheesy & dramatic- but i swear i think it. not even death of a loved one has ground me into the ground like this.
i do not know if or how i can or would recapture any feelings for this man anywhere near what i used to have. or if i should. i'm still dbing from habit a& buying time - more than anything else and in the end i'll know (if no one else in universe ) that i gave it every chance on earth. it was sooo good for soooo long- i'm still having trouble with notion of letting it allll go.
so- all of us here appreciate your guts to be doing this. it takes nothing less than nerves of steel - you know, heart of stone, but of steel...
carry on and good luck. remembr the bit about "it's not you" - it's taken me a heck of a long time- i do believe it. even while i see the damage to my ego & e
