H screamed at me... do you think I takes this lightly, my gut gets wrenched over this, I know how wrong I am, I just can't care or I will not have the energy to work in this rotten econ. I need to stay bad, I'm not really doing anything too bad, I'm just being an as$hole, do I have to stay w/you forever, I just want my freedom to make the money and not have to answer to you about not coming home if I'm too tired to drive, but I'm too old, yes, I deal w your pain and it makes me consider. I don't want to consider!
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He said it is better to live life alone! He's never lived alone, how would he know? He said he never understood M, and it's boundaries, why can't M people have friends, what is a W. Being home is his failure in his face everyday, and seeing me deal w/the fallout is pissing him off more.
Hi marie. Look at the two bolded sections above. H cannot deal with his own pain, he certainly isn't able to deal with yours. You have to find a way to do the "acting as if" dance, to relieve him of this added pressure. Acting as if you are fine is good, but actually being happy and content is better... hence the GAL advice.
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We are a constante reminder of his failure, and he is working himself to the point of collapse. I think it's so he doesn't have to be home and see, he says it's for the money and to fight back at society trying to bring him down. He drank 5 asprins today as he was bending down w/chest pains, [quote]I slowly went to him balled up on my bed, he said he wants to do this alone,[/b] he hopes he dies from this.
He is asking for space, give it to him. Don't go to him unless he calls. He is a big boy. Stay out of his way as much as possible for now, see what happens.
Please go out and do something nice for yourself today. You deserve it!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
