We are all here because either now or at some point in time, we were dbing to save our M.
I know AS is trying to help. I don't question that.
I have, more than once though, read posts from him that do not seem to take into account, the specifics of someone's situation. And that makes some of his advice very hard to swallow.
Db, just like anything else, is not cookie cutter. Things have to be tweaked and fitted to each specific situation.
Validation is a wonderful tool. It helps to diffuse the anger and spew that often comes our way. Better yet, it helps to stop us from launching a defensive response, because we are thinking about something else. It has its place. In the right situation. And there are times, when it is not the best tool for us to use. Sometimes it is simply best to say, "im sorry you feel that way" or "I understand what you are saying" and leave it at that.
I wasn't defending In_it at all. Was she "wronged?" Sure. Was she the only one in the marriage who was "wronged?" I highly doubt it. None of us is perfect.
Anyway...this thread has been hijacked long enough...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
