Thank you all. I can't thank you enough. We are doing the daily dialogues. Our host couple has called once and we are speaking to them again this evening. They seem to want to be there for us and are very kind and supportive. H is fine with talking to them. We are going to the follow up this Saturday.
BarelyFloating, yes, our H's sound very similar. I think the past year has been me focusing on us and how to rebuild and I think, for him, it's been about making a the break as easy as he can for me and the kids. He does all of this stuff very willingly, and says he will be open-minded, but there has not been any budging from the original plan. I hope you are doing okay. I am just devastated--trying hard to put on a strong face.
Can I get any of your opinions on a couple of things I've been wrestling with? H says he has been working with his therapist to feel better about himself. A few times, very recently though, he has lost his temper with me which is unusual for him. Stuff from past issues keeps coming up. He has said things such as, " Maybe I should just tell the kids their mother didn't love me enough." I was recently offered a new job with more money and he said, "Most be nice to be so successful. No one is calling me and offering me a job." "I'm having a hard time accepting all the changes you've made." (I was diagnosed with depression last Spring, went on meds, lost 30 lbs, started exercising, etc and feel like my old self.
There is still so much anger, I feel, even though he says he is not angry. He says he is leaving because he needs to feel good about himself and find fulfillment. He acknowledges that I've done "everything right" and that "we have made tremendous progress" as a couple.
AnotherStander, you're right, it's hard to do this while living under the same roof. He can't miss me. He still is checking in with me daily with all kinds of "I know this day is tough. I hope you're okay." He still hugs and kisses me good-bye every morning. The thought is him leaving is gut wrenching but this is just as painful, i think.
But if he can't work through his pain or anger or whatever you call it, and he thinks leaving me and his beautiful boys is the answer, what more can I do? I am just losing all hope.
