Moving Forward

[stilllookingup]

Women do say stupid things when we are attacked about the quality or the number of sex... oh how I wish I could take back some of the things I had said in the past. They obviously hurt my H so badly. I was in shock when he brought up things I'd said in the past. Mind you, this guy doesn't remember all the other little things I remember and hold grudge to but he remembers what I said about sex.

That is really tough to hear her say I'll try harder (to be attracted to you) but maybe she felt attacked. Maybe she didn't mean it.. I'm just speculating it but who knows.

Our intimate problem was always that I almost never initiated he didn't feel wanted or loved. I've always had a little trouble accepting him because ... quite frankly because of our size/height/nationality/ difference? (if you know what I mean!)
It did feel like a chore when I thought about it for a long time (horrible, I know) but I didn't know what to do with it. I remember few times he was embarrassed it was going to be a quick one because we hadn't had it for a while, and I was rather happy because I could hurt less. I don't remember exactly what I said but I would say things that made him believe I was relieved or glad it was going to be a short one. I mean... how depressing would that have been for him? I remember I cried few times because it was painful and emotional. Believe it or not I was so sad the intimacy had to be like a chore.

I regret deeply how our sex life was for a long time.
I wish we could have addressed it much sooner.
If it was painful, I should have sought medical help.

And the last thing I realized while soul-searching.. sex is a HUGE part of men in marriage. They don't just want sex every day 10 times a day (well maybe some do!) but they want to feel loved, wanted. They want us to make love to them like we want them to.

I've always loved my H and attracted to him but after BD I miss him incredibly more than ever. I miss his touch. I dream about how it'd be like again to just kiss him.

Maybe you guys might want to try being distant/separated a little longer this time? It sounds like you both like to work it out but desperately need to re-connect physically.

I don't know if my story was much of a help, but I thought I'd share a female's perspective.