Validating IS something that needs to happen, and as time goes on, you will naturally become better at it.
Originally Posted By: In_it
AS you are so completely spot on! Thank you! I knew even I'm the moment I was texting him I was making the wrong choice & still did it. It's like I do so well for so long & then snap! Validating has to become my main focus. It's the hardest part for me. I'm going to be ready & strong next time. I can do this!
Thanks for linking my first thread.
Looks like you DO know how to validate ^^^^
And I agree with Cat too...probably more though
Validation usually comes across as fake to most WAS. It comes across as patronizing behavior because it goes completely against what you have done in the past. Remember that this person knows YOU better than anyone else.
They know your patterns , and habits...
So if it is out of the normal ?
Yea, they can smell that, like Oprah can smell a Twinkie at a picnic.
I think, that what Cat is saying is....
That the most important thing for you right now...
Is that baby that you are carrying.
And that you should in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM...
EVER apologize, or feel that you have to validate ANYONE for carrying that baby...
And by validating him in regards to that, comes across as pleading, begging, and apologizing for being pregnant....
Do NOT ever, feel the need to "sell" that baby, for the sake of the marriage....
