Taking a step back-a fresh start

[cbtdad]

Thanks JP,
I too do better when I withdraw and don't see W.
I know these first couple of days are going to be the hardest.
I really don't know if I can handle MC with her anyways.
All she seems to do is lie now. How can I trust anything she is saying even if we go to MC. That's why I have a lot of thinking to do over the next week or so. I need to decide if I can trust her or not right now. She tells me things with OM are done and she is not pursuing, but I know that she is lying. A friend of mind that rides horses with her spilled everything to me and it [censored] to hear because I look at my W and wonder how this person can bold face lie to me about it.
I also don't get why she keeps lying and then says to keep MC appointment and we will discuss when she gets back. All I can think of is that she wants to see how things play out with her and OM over the next 10 days or that she doesn't want to rock the boat before or during this show.
I am betting man and I would bet pretty good odds that when she returns next Sunday that she says she doesn't want to go to MC now.
Problem being if she says she still wants to go, how do I trust her?
I am so confused as to what I want at this point. She is such a different person now that I fell in love with and married. Why do I want to try and make this work still sometimes? Other times I feel like I'm completely done with her.
All I want is the truth!! If she wants to pursue someone else or not work on marriage then just tell me so!!! It's the limbo and the having one foot in and one foot out that is killing me and driving me crazy!
Sorry for the rant, just needed to get some of this out