H is moving out June 1. Just started sleeping in the guest bedroom. Just got back from Retrouvaille which he has agreed to continue with as he thinks it is worthwhile. But he is still moving forward with his plans. He does not believe love is a choice; he loves me, but not in love, etc.
That's pretty typical, most WAS's think love is something that just happens rather than something you make happen. So when they fall out of love, they think the answer is to go out there and find love, like it's a rock sitting on the ground waiting to be picked up. All you can do is keep DB'ing and give him time and space to hopefully sort it out on his own.
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Question is: how do you do DB with the kids around? I want to detach and spend as little time as possible with him but want to be there for the kids. We still do everything together as a family.
I wouldn't worry about it too much for now, since he's moving out soon you'll be able to focus on giving him time/ space a lot more then. He's not going to learn to miss you while you're under the same roof and doing everything together.
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And he checks in on me via text during the day with "How are you doing? I am concerned and thinking about you." How do I best answer questions like that. Right now I am just saying "Thanks. Everything is fine here."
That's actually a pretty good response. Don't reply right away all the time though. Sometimes reply right away, other times an hour later, and sometimes not at all. The idea is to be a little mysterious, like you're not hovering over the phone waiting for him to text.
