I think sometimes we question ourselves, wondering, are we doing the best we can?
We have to come to the realization that doing the best we can does not necessarily coincide with things going the way we wish.
Some things I've learned along the way-
~ bad things happen to good people. All the time. No rhyme or reason for it.
~ there's no unspoken limit to bad things happening to a person during their lifetime. It's not like, hey, I got my bad thing happening to me out of the way, so now I'm good!
~ when bad things happen, you can face things and deal or run. The outcome will be different from what you choose.
And UW, there are a lot of your old posts still here if you dig around. Do a search of your nickname as a kid ( I stumbled across this while searching under the name I first knew you by ) Your old posts have been very inspirational for me. I mean that.
Hope you're having a good weekend
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
Hey T, we should always question, are we doing our best. And if we are, then it doesnt really matter what the outcome is.
You have learned some important things. Things that you will carry with you for a lifetime.
And yep, there is no unspoken limit as to how many bad things can happen to one person. I used to wave my hand and say, ok, I'm good - had my share. LOL!
But then I realized, all of those things made me who I am today.
Do I wish I could have learned all that in a way that wasnt so difficult? Yes!!!
But, that is not what His plan for me was.
And so I still take each thing and struggle through. And each and every time I make it, I know it has added a richness to my being.
It does seem that he repeatedly recognizes that there is only one you in this world, and he screwed it up. I don't really know what that means, or if it means anything. Who can tell with these wackos?!?!?
Out of curiosity, how does he act with your son? Is there any sense of normalcy there?
When I am having a down moment, I am going to reread your conversation. You really can't make this stuff up
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
T, he does always say that. Not sure what reaction he wants from me, but, clearly I am not giving the right one as he always makes it a point to say it.
Not sure what it means. Dont really think about it.
If I had to guess, there is a part of him that would be open to seeing what would happen between us.
He knows he screwed up. He also knows that there is truth to the statement. I was the best thing that ever happened to him and there is only one me.
But what he doesnt get is, he could say it all day long. It doesnt negate the fact that he continues to ruin me financially.
So to me, it is just lip service.
But I will say, it is sad to see him as he is now. He is a shell of a man. Driving around in a bmw convertible when the person you spent more than half your life with is struggling so will do that to you.
As far as his relationship with our son - I think it is somewhat normal considering that he is not. LOL!
They talk and text a lot. They get together and spend time together. My son was upset about the bmw. And I think he sees that his father has issues. And my son has lost a lot of respect for him. Not from anything I have ever said or did. He saw things on his own. And he does sometimes tell me that his dad says some things that dont make sense. I just listen.
And though they are close, their relationship is nowhere near what it once was. And I am not sure it ever will be.
Glad I can entertain you. Just dont hurt yourself when you reread it.
uR, I believe you are reading him correctly, i.e., wanting to see what would happen between you. Your xh doesn't know how to make amends and still is a bit foggy.
I think he opens the door every time he meets you by complimenting you. Yes, he realizes that you were the best of everything in his life pre-crisis. He can't locate the right key to unlock your door of indifference, but he's going to continue to try.
I'm glad that you son stays in touch w/his father, but the relationship will never be the same and that's very unfortunate.
You've come a long way and I do understand where you are coming from. He had it all and then destroyed everything that was good and nothing will ever be the same for him. Life didn't turn out the way he thought it should. Poor soul.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
As for being here, I would not have made it through this had it not been for some very special people here. I vowed to pay it forward, so I try.
And that you are :-)
Originally Posted By: uRworthy
And I guess that I'm just trying to contribute to the belief that people can look inside and save themselves.
But my real hope is that maybe it allows someone to know that they are heard and understood and that they are not alone.
You are an angel and have touched me, helped me, given me hope. You are truly WORTHY!
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
) Your old posts have been very inspirational for me. I mean that.
