Your h dropped a boat load of hurt and frustration on you last evening. Sounds like he is feeling sorry for himself and is just wallowing in the pain. He hasn't figured out how to get himself out of his rut.
I'm so sorry you had all of this dropped on you last evening. Yes, it's very hard to have the mlcer living at home because it is in your face 24/7 and you don't catch a break unless you go out for the day, etc.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.