A New Beginning - after 2 years...

[keep_going]

NLW - thank you for the support and words of encouragement. I just visited your thread and I am so sorry for what you are going through... You are a tough cookie yourself, so hang in there!

BF, Bug - I cannot believe I had never learned about NVC before. Yes... giraffe speak is so powerful and so hard.

I attended a 2-day NVC conference two weekends ago - a friend invited me. It was eye-opening and inspiring. From learning the basics, to learning about talking and thinking without judgment, to seeing how NVC works with our partners, with our kids and even at work...

Yes, it does help you see communication in a different way and I am hoping to learn more and become proficient and get rid of my jackals!

In other news - I got the job. If H and I can agree on financial terms and he commits to his share of children's expenses (regardless of his job situation), then my start date will be May 13th.

I have mixed feelings about it...
- Mostly relief to see some big issues solved or on their way to being solved,

- Satisfaction and an ego boost in seeing that my work is valued and the professional R I have cultivated are opening doors for me

- A sense of peace, that I will not need to beg, fight or depend on H re. finances

- Tremendous sadness - I am so used to being with my kids now. I will miss them terribly. I will now only be with them during the morning rush to get to work and school and from 6pm until bedtime on my weekdays. Most of that time will be focused on dinner, homework, bathtime and bedtime. Only "quality" non-routine time with them will be every other weekend...

- Guilt - the kids are still so young and still struggling and missing their family being together and I do wish I could be physically here for them and support them more time.

But I think everything in this journey is a jumble of mixed feelings, isn't it? I am just letting it all sink in and not reacting to any of it.

Tonight I am grateful.