NLW - Good for your D! Even before finishing reading that, I thought - oh no... he wants to take their money!
Yes, isn't it awful. Imagine being someone whom everyone (especially loved ones) thought this about.
About the L thing - it doesn't surprise me at all. NLW, if you think about it, he has taken money from you, your family, his own kids, from OW. He has refused to provide his financials from day one and now his L is gone... Don't you think this is the behavior of a man who definitely has something to hide?
Yes, This is what my L says too. But STBX is so damned convincing when he gets going. It scares me to think that everyone will believe the story he's woven.
The one thing I am still confused about is you keep saying you cannot do anything about the situation and today you said you are at a stand-off. I would assume a judge will force him to provide financials and then force him to pay his share of child support, right? Does he have a job? Couldn't they take the money out directly from his salary? Your L has probably gone through all the scenarios with you, by now.
Stand-off comes from the fact that he says he no longer has any of the financial details. He says his businesses are now defunct and the records didn't need to be kept.
He also says that almost everything was in my name - the trust, the kids' accounts, the house, the mortgage, most credit cards. He did this to avoid being liable as a Director of his various companies. If he'd had any assets, his creditors would have had a claim on anything that was in his name. So he put everything in my name, set it all up online, using passwords he created, and then did all the transacting that he liked.
I never thought for a moment that I couldn't trust him. I was stupidly too busy with my job, running the house, and doing for the kids to keep tabs on what he was doing.
So now he says I am responsible for providing any financial detail about things. Of course, he took all the hardcopy records with him, so if I want to find anything out, it's $8 per individual monthly statement. Imagine the cost of going back 10 yrs (which is the timeframe of manipulation involved) for around 25-30 separate accounts!
My L says we can subpoena, but this will be very expensive (that makes me shudder - if a L says 'expensive', goodness knows what is coming!).
And in relation to his current income, stbx is still self-employed. To avoid paying tax, he keeps his salary as low as possible, and just uses cash coming into the business as a sort of transaction fund for his living expenses.
His big claim at the moment is that, as a low income earner, he cannot afford any CS. Indeed, he painted the following picture at mediation a few days ago:
He was a much younger, stay-at-home spouse who had sacrificed his career for the benefit of his older, wealthier, established partner (me). And now this evil spouse was trying to do him out of his half share of everything (i.e. superannuation, house, contents, etc).
He said it was so unfair. He compared himself to a younger woman marrying an older man, and this grasping powerful older man trying to leave her with nothing.
