After phone coaching session #2

[reb9597]

azguy, I reread your comments from earlier about living in the now and I appreciate it very much. Thanks again. Things look better in the afternoons. And I even had the 'now app' on my phone that sent reminders, I need to start that up again.

I like your cue card and think it makes total sense. My hesitation is that that was the old me, worrying about decisions and stressing 24/7. Now I recognize it and can express here & internally, but the lid is pretty tight in my outside life. It's a 180 for me. Assuming H thinks a decision has already been made, and it mostly has, based on D's preference and the program she got into (just wish we were independently wealthy) - it'd be a bit of the worrying me to bring it up to him & say 'are you sure? are you sure?'.

I'll try to guide d18 to bring it up to verify with H once more before deadline, but after that I feel H's been fairly warned and it's a huge leap of faith and growth for me to let it go. Either way, she's going to school where she wants and it'll cost H an arm & a leg & he's agreed to it. If I bring all this up to him & harass him on the details it'll just stress him out even more. That's part of the dumping I used to do on him, I referred to it here ages ago. I'm stressed, I'd dump it on him & get it all out - I feel better & I thought it didn't effect him. But I guess I was WRONG! I'm internalizing my stress which is stressful but better than wearing him down like I used to.

Yeah thanks for helping me work this out. I think it's better this way. Opposite of my default response. Right?