That conversation actually ended with us talking about our expectations of one another so A) I don't go expecting the world only to get disappointed and B) she is a little more aware of my needs while she's sorting out whatever she needs to. The week or so after that has actually been going pretty well. She actually has been spending some more time with me, even if it's only to eat meals together or hang out before going to bed.
That sounds pretty positive. Keep in mind that piecing is not linear, just like DB'ing there are good days and bad days, forward progress and backsliding.
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Well, he actually got around to looking at it last Monday during the day but didn't tell anyone. So when I got home I find the tarp hanging off with it about to rain. When I tried to find out from her (she wasn't home at the time) if she knew anything she kind of blew it off.
My wife left the garage door open one day. It was open all day long for the world to see, with tens of thousands of dollars worth of tools and motorcycles right there in plain view. I totally flipped out when I got home that night. She blew it off as no big deal, just an accident. I wasn't willing to let it go so easily, but I SHOULD HAVE. Because in the end, all my ranting just drove her further away (this was before BD). I wish I knew that saying back then about "do you want to be right or happily married" because I surely should have applied it then and CALMLY told her I would appreciate it if she could be more diligent about making sure the door is closed when she leaves.
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At that point I went to just go say goodnight and before I could even take a step, she just blurts out, "Don't!"
It really just seemed out of left field and I'm still frustrated about it.
We ALL have those moments. Maybe it's her time of the month, or she had a bad day, or someone else cut her off in traffic and made her mad. Let it go If she keeps doing it day in and day out for weeks well then you've got a problem. But everyone should be allowed a "gimme" now and then.
If she keeps doing it day in and day out for weeks well then you've got a problem. But everyone should be allowed a "gimme" now and then.