The thing with therapists...is they are human. While they have education in the field of psychology, there are no cookie cutter answers when it comes to feelings, human behaviors, actions and reactions. Even the best communication tools don't work for everyone. Human behavior, is definately not an exact science.
Yes the things you hear will be hurtful. Just by the sheer nature if the conversation and situation. There is no way around it. Even if she was saying im going to tell you these things so we can reconcile if you change them, they are gonna hurt. However, she is entitled to her feelings and thoughts, even if they are different from yours.
You can't rest your self confidence on how anyone feels about you. By definition of the word it isn't possible. Self-anything, comes from within. We can allow our self image to be eroded by what others say or think about us, we can make changes to try to change their opinions, however by doing those things, we can further damage ourselves.
Your job, besides listening to her feelings, is to evaluate what she says and determine what it means to you. If it is something you can change and want to to build how you see yourself, not how she sees you, then it is worth looking at. If it is something you can't or don't want to change, the you have to let it go. Like water off a ducks back. If you don't, if you choose to internalize it, dwell on it and do nothing about it, then you are taking someone else's feelings and making them your own, thus hurting yourself. Self being the key here.
I hope I am explaining this in a way that makes sense to you or someone out there lol
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
