Here are some specific ways you can avoid pursuing your spouse at this time:
Emotional Level:
Don't initiate conversation or give advice (even if they asked for the advice, refrain from giving it).
Abstain from trying to change or improve your partner in any way.
Do not seek his emotional support or help with any of your problems, concerns, or worries.
Do not look to him as someone to talk to.
If you've been babying him, stop.
Identify whatever you are doing for him, and stop doing it. An example of this is: stop doing his laundry, picking up after him, cooking especially for him, or waiting on or for him.
Stop "keeping the peace". If you've been intervening between him and others, be it children, family or friends, stop doing so. He needs to learn how to interact w/others all on his own.
Physical Level:
Do not initiate expressions of affection, such as hugging, kissing and saying "I love you," or "I'll miss you," or asking questions such as "Do you love me?"
Do not appease your partner sexually any longer.
Do not plan your schedule around his, and do not do things for him.
This is not the time for a romantic vacation or second honeymoon.
If he spends his spare time at home, arrange to be out while he's there.
Do things with family and friends or by yourself.
In short, do as little as possible for him or with him, with the goal of doing absolutely nothing.
